More Realistic Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb, but soon realized that livestock farming's profit margins were proportional to scale of produce. Therefore one lamb would cost more in investment than could hoped to be recouped in sales revenue, especially given a failing, over competitive agriculture sector in the UK.

So she left the lamb in a ditch and got a job as a PA for a respectable, blue-chip corporation with good benefits and healthy pension plan. She worked there for two years, before she was forced to leave over allegations of past animal cruelty.