Tuesday, 8 May 2007

Top Film Ruiners

I one day hope to publish these ideas in a little book that you can buy people you don't like. After reading it, they won't be able to enjoy another film again.

It was inspired by the large number of films that seem to have an otherwise lacklustre premise and boring first 3/4 of a file rescued by a completely unpredictable "Deus Ex Machina" solution that neatly resolves the whole thing and makes everyone go "ahhhhhhhhh...". I really don't like them, and so I propose to write a book that will include all of them, thus ruining them for all who read this.

A quick caveat, not all the films listed here are awful, far from it in fact. But given that I am a malicious bastard, I feel that given that you are going to give this book to someone you don’t like; ruining a good film for them is perfectly justified.

A little extra comment for the genius who designed the Planet of the Apes box cover.....don't you think that it is worth HIDING the Statue of Liberty until the end of the film, and not plastering it over the front cover??? Muppet.

Included in the book is the following "Quiz" section:

What films?

  • He is his dad.
  • He was a ghost the whole time.
  • Its made out of humans
  • He is Tyler Durton
  • They all did it
  • Its not Dean Keaton, its Verbal Kint.
  • They are on Earth the whole time

If you can think of any more, please add them to the Comments section below.

1 comment:

bigdave84 said...

It's not a virus but a mood

They're brother and sister (and feel a little guilty about doing the do)

they live inside some fat dudes head and the kid did it all. (what a cop out!)

she has another alien inside her...i mean when she crashed where was the...oh fuck it

hope i help